I haven’t truly written for a year now – not because this project met a hiatus in its development but rather that my focus has turned to that of a central blogging platform. I write and publish stories on my work, life and experiences via Terminus Infinite, which will soon act as both my central blog and as my portfolio.
I need not add more. If you’d like to keep up with my development, flick an eye on over to Terminus Infinite for more updates, writings and general nonsense that I’ll be writing on a near-daily basis.
Why the lack of?
As a student in academia, I’ve found time and time again, I’ve not had chance to perform much – either my finances have cut short of my expectations or at times, I’ve just not been in the best of positions to perform; I’ve rarely had to revise and read a single poem. I’ve always left my performances to chance, which in some cases, has proved useful but at other points, not always the best of options. Take for example, volunteering with TOC last year or so, I always just read and sometimes, exagerrated; my nerves weren’t too brilliant then, but I feel they’re better now.
“What can I do? What can I say?” (Military Fashion Show, And One)
As written in my previous post about performing at Rebellion, I think it’s high-time I started learning how to perform; this would not only better my work, but better myself as a performer and a person in fact. I could start off on my early works; they’re short, sweet and to the point, but every so often, I think a challenge should be picked up. I learned through working with the local university’s drama group, that I could recite lines if I read them over enough times and the same could be said, if I was to recite my poetry and eventually, embody the right mind to perform it to its best.
What’s going to happen?
I’m going to push myself forward, I’m going to record myself and I am going to keep pushing myself, until every last scrap of energy hurls into each performance, with the right amount of effort. I will remain consistent that my approach, as a performer, will be experimental in how I perform – I would like to know my works, but keep each performance for the listening viewer fresh in their minds. I don’t want to become that one song that goes dull after ten plays.
[...] Write as you would speak [...]
My English tutor once said to me, “Write as you speak” and I’ve been mumbling it over the past few minutes in my head; in my prior-to-writing-this-post artistic practice, it would be safe to say, I have followed that my own perception, that how I speak is how I write. This at times, has proved difficult; it means my words lose articulation due to improper grammar that forces the meaning aside and academically, this has caused me some difficulty in getting my thoughts across. I personally think I would benefit from following my tutor’s advice; it would most certainly help me in articulating my emotions again; I feel lost at sea, the waters sweeping me under and the roaring thunder in my heart amongst the open plains, far from helping me to recover from the pains.
Love me, hate me, I don’t care,
but don’t think about me, I swear,
you’ll get headaches if and when you think,
because you’re always at the drink that helps,
you wash away your empty days and sorrows,
who cares about tomorrows, compared to you,
well, you’re nothing and tomorrow’s a beautiful day.
The artist has recently been in conversation with his previous embodiers, Iosue, Felicia and Vocal, whom have come to an agreement with the artist. It is within the best of interests, that the process resumes and that disputes between the entities are to be settled themselves, poetically and sensibly.
To keep track of these embodiments and the artist, please go forward to http://unprofessional-practice.tumblr.com, the main arch where the artist keeps his working practice up to date for your eyes.
Project: CORDS – Submissions
If you’d like to submit a poem, a short story, an extract or any other form of literature, please use his form, follow the instructions and I will prepare my vocals to seize at your throbbing… for the delight of hearing, when ready to burst.
Friends, readers and anonymous visitors,
I bear you grave news, that I have decided to discontinue my embodiment procedures and relinquish myself of any relation to the previous entities that I have allowed to form my personality as a human being; I do not wish to dwell on the darkness any longer, for it has shrowded my vision for many years and I wish only for clarify in knowing who I am and not to know past that wall again.
The things I know, that I didn’t know then, are these: I am critical, that when I write, I do not wish to perform my words; you are my performers and you know how I feel, so it is no use for me to try. I want to enjoy my words, but those I have wrote and shown you, only detail a man’s suffering, woe and self-pity that he has; when that was the man I once was. I am no longer such man and bear none of the dust from his time on my boots, not a speck, not a single bit of dust left.
I know this may cause stir and confusion, but I want to experiment freely; I do not wish to have to bind myself so much; I will be who I am, without the namesake of a category or type; I will be, I will be a ripe fruit again, not the sour grapes of a man that couldn’t be picked up without crying, fighting or shame.
I bear this burden no more.
I return to my life.
Now, to look at oneself in the mirror, is to realise how weak my embodiment portrays itself as character; when I created Iosue, they had an image, neutral in gender, slightly gothic and portrayed exactly the right character for the poetry, however, this character never made it to light in any performances, so I’m in hopeful spirits that I may be able to work around this and allow Iosue to become a full embodiment on stage than just trapped away in the corners of my mind.
Love isn’t lonely anymore… no longer are you my dear…